While we’re at it Tarzan could get it too. White dreads and all.
hey baize do you accept criticism on your posts
he’s a british man from the 1800s, he’s probably not circumcised, and he’s been living with gorillas. it doesn’t matter what he’s packing he’s probably got some of the strongest aged dick cheese under his hood…
Gorillas are actually pretty clean animals, and a nice river bath before the great dickdown of 1892 would clear any remains dirt right up
*throws holy water on this post*
*Washes Tarzans cock (yeah, I said it) with it
My ex and i were watching that a few years ago and she absolutely ruined the whole movie for me by saying “so how bad to you think he destroyed jane’s pussy the first time because gorilla’s ain’t exactly bout that gentle lovin”
She probably had months of construction work after the first time. Probably had to build a whole new pussy from scratch
We need more discussions like this
Thank you! The Tarzan dickscourse is so important. Like did you see the size of his thighs? If the dick didn’t kill you on contact the piston power from those thighs definitely would. Have you mad and crawling around the jungle like
Reblogging again cause the piston powered thighs make me swoon
I just heard my mom tell my brother, “when you die, you will go outside and garden until your father says you’re done” and it took me a second to realize that my brother was playing a videogame and this was not a theological discussion.
My mom is very proud that her misinterpreted words have been witnessed by the internet. My brother is disappointed that I didn’t post a picture with it so he could become a meme.
the fact that we can’t drink sea water even tho its the most common type of water just bc its 3% salt yet we can safely consume multiple forms of literal poison and even benefit from doing so just blows my fucking mind
Peppers: Now that I have capsaicin, no mammal will eat me! ONLY BIRDS. THE BIRDS WILL SPREAD MY SEEDS.
Humans: oh my god this burns so good
Peppers: wut
poppies: at last, i have evolved my sap to the point where anything that eats me will sleep… FOREVER
humans who are about to invent painkillers: hey guess what
The real reason it’s a fucking travesty Peter Parker is “straight” is that he would have a fucking field day making gay jokes. Imagine Spiderman wit mixed with millennial gay humour. He’d be unstoppable
This post is pissing people off so I’m gonna add to it:
*villain du jour flirts with Spiderman* woah! I know I swing both ways, but your way isn’t one of em
***
Intellectual™ white supremacist: and when I’m done the entire world will be one homogeneous society-
Spidey: buddy the only homo-genius here is me step off
***
Villain: *gestures to the eyesore that is the Spiderman suit* what kind of fashion is this
Spidey, a gay, knowing that all his villains commit crime in their fursuits: fucking respectable is what it is
***
Villain, talking about the plague that is vigilantes: your way of life disgusts me
Spidey, with narrowed eyes: is this homophobia or arachnophobia
That last one:
Villain: Wait. What, no, no, I meant, like my brother is, I mean I think you are a fine person, I just meant, the whole you know other thing
Spiderman: I’m going to punch you to save you from yourself
KayjsCage 
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