The great thing about fandom/internet friends vs. friends you meet out IRL, is that when you get to know people for the first time face-to-face, there’s this awkward process of trying to figure out juuuust how much of a dork they are, and how much you can nerd out before you scare them off. Like, you don’t wanna break out the real freaky shit right off. There’s always the impulse to hang back a little, as you try to gauge just how into a thing they are. But with fandom friends? You fucking met them in the garbage heap. You knew their fucked up narrative kinks before you even know their real name. They are screaming their passions into the void. Your friendship comes pre-loaded with already knowing the exact depths of each other’s depravity, and any ordinary-people-shit you have in common is just a bonus.
have y’all ever had communion bread that was just so….nasty? like i know we have to suffer as christians, but do we really need to have whole wheat bread as the body of christ?
my old church used hawaiian bread. my standards are high
Some old housemates of mine were Syrian Orthodox. At their church different members of the church took turns baking the bread that would be consecrated for the Eucharist. This was all well and good until one woman baked raisin bread. This led to the memorable occasion of a rather flustered priest, who had not seen the bread until that moment, declaring, “This – except for the raisins – is the Body of Christ.”
EXCEPT FOR THE RAISINS omg
Raisins are just dried grapes though, and wine is his blood so really its like a two in one shampoo & conditioner except with jesus
I read an anecdote from someone whose African Grey didn’t particularly get along with her Amazon parrot, Paco. One night she was preparing cornish hens for dinner, while the grey hung out with her in the kitchen. He got a closer look at one of the hens, looked his mama dead in the eyes and asked, “Paco?” Then he laughed.
that is one sadistic bird
I am slightly afraid now.
I love birds?
African Grey Parrots are one of the smartest birds, and seems they can be known to play “jokes” or “pranks” on their owners or any visitors.
I was visiting a friend of the family one time and I was just casually watching tv when I thought I heard the water running. I go into the kitchen but everything’s fine. the parrot looks at me and says “gotcha”.
Parrots are awesome.
I have an African Grey named Loki and he lives up to his name.
He likes to scream and mimic the sounds of things falling off the shelf and when we run into the room to see what’s happening he says “The cat did it! Bad Sammy!” and laughs.
Whenever he gets mad at me he flies away from me, but since he can’t fly very well, he always crash lands. And the first thing he says when I go to pick him up, without fail, is always “You need to vacuum,” in a very bitter grumble.
Loki likes to call our cat to him. He’ll sit there for minutes saying “here kitty kitty kitty.” The cat will come, walk up to the bird, get bit and then Loki will laugh as the cat screams and runs away. This goes on for hours.
If it’s late at night and he’s tired, but I’m still up with the lights on, he’ll say “Loki go night night.” It’s starts of in a normal tone and then gets louder and louder until he’s screaming “LOKI GO NIGHT NIGHT!”
If he sees my dad fall asleep, he screams like a little girl to scare my dad awake. And then laughs. He’s kind of perfected that evil laugh.
But the best one was when I brought home the man who has since become my ex for the first time, Loki looked him dead in the eyes and said “I’m going to bite you.” My parrot was the first one to see what a bad person my ex. He was smarter than us all.
African Greys are like the greatest animal on the planet
When I was a kid, we had a rescued african grey called Dodi, and once I was arguing with my mum about my bed time, and the parrot (who had some very foul mouthed previous owners) just shouted at me “for fuck sake go to bed!”
also whenever we hoovered he’d call us “yoooou dusty cunts”
what continuously amazes me about the mcelroys is that justin looks like a gay elf, and travis looks like a portland barista who takes regular business trips to narnia. they both look like weird, cool, funny guys. but then griffin looks like if you hit ‘random’ on a character generator for a game exclusively about tax accountants. he looks like he was born with a polo shirt on. he looks like both his first and last names are jeff. he looks like he organizes socks for fun, and then he opens his mouth and says something funny enough that you rupture all your internal organs laughing about it. it’s incredible.
i just want to say that the first time i saw griffin in the wwe monster factory video (i think), i was floored. i couldn’t believe my eyes. he was exactly like op says and i was not prepared for that at all and i was unable to process anything for days
the real question is how the fuck did persephone only manage to eat 6 pomegranate seeds. theyre like the fucking cocaine of fruit you cant eat just 6 singular seeds you have to pop handfuls upon handfuls into ur mouth at rapid speeds and then get sad cause you spent half an hour getting them out of the pomegranate and ate all of them in 5 minutes
BNHA AU where everything is the same but Bakugou uses Tumblr-style threats like “I’m going to steal your teeth,” and “I’ll cut all of your shoelaces in half.”
KayjsCage 
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