So, as it’s roughly explained, the state alchemist program is a kind of “recruit potential human sacrifices” mechanism, with a side-order of “brute strength for the army”. But basically, the state alchemist title is mostly about being a researcher–given people like Shou Tucker exist, and given that the only requirement to stay a state alchemist is to submit a yearly report of your research that says “look I’m still being a useful scientist”.
So far, so far this is sensible, yeah? Father and the delightful children from down the lane are running a recruitment program for potential human sacrifices. So sure–butter them up! Give them lots of money, get them buddy-buddy with the government, and give them endless resources for research. It’s be pretty easy to trick a state alchemist in that position to open the portal if Sugar DaddyBradley is nudging them to do it.
And I’m still willing to go with this logic for the whole “draft the state alchemists into war” move. They make it pretty clear that was something of a last-ditch effort. And the blood transmutation circle around Amestris was an absolute necessity for Father’s plan. So the risk of a few state alchemists dying or resigning from your Potential Sacrifice Pool is worth it for the completion of the circle.
Now. To get to my fucking thought.
Edward fucking Elric. This fucking fight-me 12 year old troglodyte shows up to the exam and performs circle-less transmutation in front of mother fucking Bradley, demonstrating to one of the seven Actual Fucking Homunculi that he’d already opened the portal. Ed was literally prepped as a human sacrifice before he showed up to Central. A fully set human sacrifice showed up at the homunculi’s door, said “hey look what I can do!”, proved he’d opened the mother fucking portal already, and said “hey yeah hire me”. Human sacrifice, free shipping, no assembly required, handcuffs not included!
They could have just tossed Ed into a shoebox and kept him there until the Promised Day. They wouldn’t even need to make up an excuse he attacked the f u c k i n g president. That’s fucking treason babey. He’s 12, he’s an orphan, he’s from a rural town in buttfuck nowhere, he’s literally the easiest person alive to disappear.They could have arrested him for assassination crimes, kept him in gay baby jail, and just popped him out for the Promised Day
What do they do instead?! “Oh lmao this kid’s great. Let’s give him infinite money, no supervision, no governmental responsibilities, access to all our secret resources, and toss him on a train to who-the-fuck-knows-where-land”
They fucking did that
And like? They then had the audacity to be concerned when Edward “Fight Me” Elric almost got himself killed about 293 times. Just an endless game of “I thought u were watching him” from one homunculus to another when Ed fucking absconds half-way across the globe to go entice some other hostile entity into murdering him to death. That’s the whole series. Every arc is Ed baiting death while the homunculi are in the background like “:/ wish he wouldn’t do that”
This only gets worse when you consider they later learned Al opened the portal too because really?? These two stab-happy globe-trotting public menaces are 40% of your final evil plan for godhood. 40%. Almost half. You couldn’t fucking set aside a cardboard box to keep these idiots in?
We all knew Father was terrible at planning when we learned his thousands-of-years-in-the-making-plan involved him procrastinating until the last five minutes to get his last sacrifice, while he was?? playing chess in his fucking basement, I guess. But it’s like every time I think about it like really think about it I find 7 more reasons Father was a fucking shit idiot moron, king of the stupid fucking idiot club, flesh and blood founder of seven other established dumbasses, all living in their idiot hovel under central, just giving random dumbass 12 year olds infinite money, j u s t b e c a u s e.
People in the replies trying to explain Father’s actions fall into one of three categories
Father didn’t baby-gate Ed because humans are like ants to him and he had no concept of how thoroughly Ed and co. could fuck his shit up
Father and the Hot Topic Brigade didn’t lock Ed up because they recognized the unbridled chaotic 12-year-old energy compressed into such a small vessel and they understood no jail cell on earth would reliably hold this thing
Father and his sin-sonas didn’t put Ed in a box because locking Ed away in their lair would mean dealing with Edward Elric day-in and day-out in their own home for the next four years and frankly even godhood isn’t worth certain flavors of hell.
imagine a crocodile with horse-like legs… unstoppable… i would love to ride one o’ those into battle
are you..high
….carry on
Fun fact these ‘crocodile cousins’ with ‘horse-like legs’ existed and was known as a ‘sabre-toothed cat in armour’ due to it’s speed out of water and long fangs. There was the ‘DogCroc’ ( Araripesuchus wegeneri) and ‘BoarCroc’ (Kaprosuchus). The DogCroc (featured above) was only around the size of a small dog, with its skull easily fitting into the palm of someones hand. It lived during the Lower Cretaceous-Upper Cretaceous period;
*Comparison of a DogCroc’s skull to a Sarcosuchus skull. (Sarcosuchus is the largest known crocodile species and was large enough it could even prey upon a T-Rex and could weigh up to ten tonnes and be over forty feet long.)
However the BoarCroc (Kaprosuchus) was twenty-foot long and could gallop across land and preyed upon dinosaurs.
That’s a fucking dragon
Y
Yeah
and here I was thinking of a crocodile with literal horse legs like some kind of fool
Mob was really slow to talk. Showed little to no interest in actually trying until Ristu started to speak, then he started giving it an actual shot. Still developed really slowly, but did his little best.
Has absolutely no ability to read other people’s tones or body language and relies entirely on what they say to him directly, which he takes as the truth every time.
This means that he struggled a bit understanding and communicating with Reigen “Could not be straightforwardly honest if his life depended on it” Arataka, especially at first.
Reigen had a similarly hard time with Mob, because that boy couldn’t fake NT body language if he tried and Reigen has only taught himself to read “Normal” body language
Very stimmy boy. It’s important to him because it helps keep him calm. Never really made any attempt to hide his stimming because no one has ever really told him explicitly Not To. People occasionally teased him for it, but it went directly over his head, and there were enough kind classmates around that it didn’t go on for very long.
That being said, things after Mogami were a little different. People there made it obvious that his stimming was “bad” and when he came back he had a hard time re-convincing himself otherwise.
Reigen noticed this almost immediately but couldn’t figure out a way to say anything directly to him. Instead he just got twice as loud and blatant with his own stimming to kind of lead by example.
Also it’s hard to notice or get noticed doing little things like rocking when Reigen is flapping his hands so wildly that no one looks at you twice.
Shaky legs, fluttery fingers, and rocking are his Big Stims.
Used to stim more with his powers but after the Incident with Ritsu he stopped doing it so casually
Has a really hard time putting his thoughts into words. Very instinctive/visual thinker; takes him a long time to verbalize things
Absolutely no capacity to understand someone if more than one person is talking at once.
Also, only understands about 25% of what Reigen is saying when the man really gets Going about something. That stressed him out a lot when they first met, but eventually he caught on to the fact that it makes absolutely no difference to Reigen whether someone is listening to him or not. Mob still tries his best to follow along anyway to be Polite, and because he thinks it’s nice.
Very fixated on Politeness because it’s something that he can understand about social interaction. He can’t get things across using tone or body language, so being polite is one of the best ways he knows how to get across the fact that he is indeed being Nice. It’s also a good way to keep people from getting too put off by your monotone and huge flat affect
Both he and Ritsu are notorious for having flat expressions, but Ritsu eventually learned how to make his more of a polite smile. Mob cannot figure out how to do this for the life of him
decided to put these in a bit of a chronological order as i can’t help but form a story behind the scenes. it’s a storyteller’s habit. and yeah i do have an idea i would genuinely like to explore with gail simone as a crossover comic.
i don’t want to be the writer for this. but at the same time i always found diving into these things and exploring the character chemistry was the best way to get an artistic feeling for it.
this is also how i usually develop my own stories.
anyhow, while many think this is me drawing some shipping, in fact this a proof of concept for an adventure story featuring lara and diana. Gail simone at some point asked if they would kiss and i gave it some genuine thought. i am a character first kind of a writer, myself, so i contemplated this. then i decided, yes, probably.
after all, romantic subplots have been the bread and butter of adventure writing since its inception and i always liked that aspect of adventure stories.
i hope this puts some things in context from my end XD
and while
there will probably be a few more of these, there will be no nsfw pics. after all, camera pans away from indiana jones in those moments as well XD
okay… there may be a chance of a kiss… but that’s about it.
KayjsCage 
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